Why Jonah's sign?

You might be wondering why this blog is called ‘Jonah’s Sign’. That will become apparent from reading how and why I have come to write it.

   

About six years ago, shortly before my fiftieth birthday, I had a major heart attack and ended up in hospital where it was discovered that I had three blockages in two of the three primary arteries of my heart. Thanks to the wonder of contemporary medicine the cardiology team was able to restore the functioning of my heart by inserting three stents where the blockages were. I spent a month at home recuperating and thereafter soon found myself to be fit and strong once more.

On another level, besides the obvious physical elements, this whole experience was deeply spiritual for me. In the first place, although this heart attack came without warning, I immediately had an inner sense of what was happening to me and that I should not panic; all was well and I should go with the flow of it. There was an experience of inner peace and awareness that I was being held. I had no real pain, just discomfort and pressure in my chest, along with my left arm becoming numb. Whilst lying in ICU I had a profound awareness of the presence of God. 

After the procedure, on my return home, there was a sense that somehow this was a Jonah experience. I connected lying in ICU for three days waiting for the stents to be implanted with the Old Testament story of Jonah being in the belly of the great fish. Moreover, the three stainless steel stents implanted in my heart seemed to represent being kept alive by the grace of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. I had a deep sense of gratitude for being given a new lease of life. It felt like a rebirth and I viewed the reality of my life through new eyes; and had something like the flush of falling in love once again. This time my love interest was the One who had loved me into being in the first place.

The month spent at home recuperating was a time of wonder. My wife Sharon and our two sons, Euan and Kyle, were away during the day, working and studying. In their absence it was like being on a private retreat; spent in the company of my true Lover, who loved me unconditionally. During that time of intimacy I had an awareness of the Lord impressing on me that the joinery business that I was running at the time had become an idol and that I needed to let go of such intense involvement in it.  When I returned to work that was therefore what I did.

 Hindsight gives us great vision. Although at the time I was blind to what was happening I can now see that from that point my business slowly began to die. This business had taken me around twenty years to build up and was the source of my livelihood as well as the provision for the future of my family and myself. Needless to say I progressively began to panic, especially when it became clear that I could not save the business despite my best effort. Without going into detail for sake of brevity the death of my business took five painfull years and culminated in me having a second heart attack. My heart was literally broken. This time there was only one blockage, requiring only one stent, but it was the final nail in the coffin. I gave up, admitted defeat and stopped trading. It resulted in me entering into a time of grieving the loss of my business. For a few months I was emotionally wiped out and unable to function properly. During that time I was in a state of paralysis, with diminished ability to think clearly or act decisively. After this grieving period I began to try to find a way ahead.

   

I now had an even stronger awareness of this being a Jonah experience; not just the two heart attacks, but also the five year period it took for the business to die. The complete process had brought me to a very different place, with regard to both the external reality of my life as well as my inner reality. After much reflection I have now come to see that this was probably the worst thing that has happened in my life, yet at the very same time the best.

I was aware that the Lord leads us through our deep desires and so I plumbed the depths of my inner desire. A strong desire to write welled up and so that is what I did; and have done so for the past year. As a stutterer from childhood my ability to communicate has been severely restricted and I have now begun to find my voice and am starting to express myself. It has been like unplugging a volcano and experiencing an eruption and release of unexpressed words and emotions that have been suppressed within me for many long years.Amongst other things it has led me to write this blog.

In the context of my overall situation I was confronted with many questions, one of them being what the story of Jonah had to say to me in my predicament. I have learnt that my spiritual journey is not about having definitive answers, all neatly packaged and labeled; but with living the questions. It is the questions that both move and draw me; and without forward movement I remain static or even shrink back.
     

 My Christian spiritual journey has led me to first of all embrace mystery, because it requires faith in what I cannot comprehend with my mind or apprehend with my senses. As I have progressively embraced mystery at deeper levels I have been drawn into embracing paradox as well. I have discovered that most (if not all) of the profound mysteries of faith necessitate the uncomfortable reality of holding opposites in tension.  This runs contrary to all that is held dear and aspired to in the rationalistic Western society we live in; which is obsessed with control. We will explore this in a later blog.

One of my spiritual mentors said that the story of Jonah provides us with the essential pattern of spiritual transformation. I therefore decided to spend time looking at this story. What was also intriguing for me was that when Jesus was asked by a group of people to give them a miraculous sign to show them that he was from God, he replied that it was an evil and faithless generation that asked for a sign. He added that the only sign he would give them was the ‘Sign of Jonah’ (Matthew 12:38-40).

In the blogs that follow I invite you to journey with me in exploring what I discovered about the nature of signs and their interpretation; as well as both what the Old Testament  story of Jonah had to say to me; and what I believe Jesus meant by giving the ‘Sign of Jonah’ to those people who would not accept him for who he was. I will use a contemplative approach, allowing you to explore the questions for yourself. I hope that you will use the opportunity to meditate on what we look at together. It is a fascinating journey which goes to the heart of the process of spiritual transformation. You are welcome to either sign up or opt out at this point.