I Can Run but I Can’t Hide

For the last nine weeks I have been looking at various aspects of the Jonah story and the process of transformation that he went through. In this post I turn my attention to express some of the things I have personally learnt from this story and the process that I have been through.

The first thing I have seen is that when I am dealing with the Living God I can run but I can’t hide. Somewhere, sometime, when I least expect it, there is a great fish (in whatever guise) waiting to swallow me. Despite my initial sense when this happens that this is a tragedy, it turns out to be a blessing in disguise. I have a True Father who is watching over me and calling me to life and not death; even though what I am experiencing at the time might feel like death. It is in fact a death of sorts, but a necessary death. Something which is crippling me, or holding me in bondage has to die.

The older I get the more I realize that following the path of spiritual truth is like walking a tight rope. It is, as Jesus said, a narrow way. It is a balancing act with error on either side. It is easy to be swayed by prevailing winds to lean to either side and fall into compromising the truth of the Gospel of Christ. I have to constantly keep my eyes firmly fixed on Christ and follow where the Spirit leads me, one step at a time. Not looking down, nor running ahead or turning back to retreat to where I felt more comfortable. The more I do it, it the more practiced I become; more confident and assured that I can do greater things than I ever believed possible. I have to allow what I read in Scripture to move from my head to my heart; and embrace the reality that the same Spirit that raised Jesus from death is living in me; and wants to do the same in me if I choose to allow it. ‘Choose’ is the operative word. The Lord of Life does not force life upon me, but invites me to choose it. In the Hebrew Torah the Lord told the Israelites that God set before them both life and death; and encouraged them to choose life.

There are two great myths which are held by contemporary Western culture. The first is that we are free to choose to be who we are and our own life path without reference to a higher reality. There is a common –held belief that we must be ‘independent’; and ‘individualism’ is aspired to. We are encouraged to aspire towards ‘self actualization’ (the ideal state in terms of the pyramid model of Maslow). This has become a taken-for –granted value of our society. There is an inherent notion in this that we can be sufficient in ourselves without reference to other people or a higher reality.

The second is that what we choose in the first instance does not have consequences.  A cornerstone of ‘democracy’ is freedom to choose. The problem is that often my free choices impinge on the lives and freedom of other people. Another problem is that the choices I make can be at odds with the ‘Big Picture’ of the One who brought everything, including me, into being.

 Using the tight-rope metaphor there is both truth and fallacy to be found here. In terms of finding and actualizing my ‘self’ I have come to see that the truth is a very narrow path. It is imperative to discover and live into my ‘self’, but how I do so is different from the popular conception. Who I thought I was in the first part of my life was not who I really am. My attempts at ‘self actualization’ were therefore aimed at actualizing a ‘false self’. The experience of ‘death’ that I have gone through, which I have written about in my previous blog posts, has in fact resulted in the progressive death of this ‘false self’. This is by no means saying that this process is complete; it never will be on this side of the grave. It has set me free to discover the reality of my ‘true self’. This is the self that has always been within me but I was cut off from it. It is that part of me which is created in the ‘image of God’. Discovering and living into that reality is my true calling in life. I can only do this to the degree that I am in right relationship with the Lord. This makes experiencing the reality of my ‘true self’ possible; but I also need  the help of the Holy Spirit who lives within me to enable me to do so.

The consequence of trying to live an independent life without reference to God is that we become cut off from the ‘presence of God’, the source of life. This is the experience of Jonah which is depicted in the second chapter of the Book of Jonah. By running away he found himself cut off from God. He was confronted by the ‘land of the dead’ (Sheol). Turning my back on God and trying to run away had the effect of cutting me off from the presence of God. I had to experience that myself in order to realize what it feels like. It is a desolate place indeed. I came to see that ‘hell’ is foremost a ‘state of being’ rather than a place.

 Jonah’s response was: “When I had lost all hope, I turned my thoughts once more to the Lord.” I too had to ‘hit rock bottom’ before I turned once more to the source of life. I had, like Jonah, “turned my back on God’s mercies” (Jonah 2:8). I came to recognize, as he did, that my salvation comes from God alone. Only by choosing life can I enjoy life.

Questions for reflection:

·         Have you also run away from the Lord?

·         Are you cut off from the presence of God?

·         Do you recognize that salvation comes from God alone?