What I Believe Matters

In my previous post I wrote about how I was led through a process of deliverance ministry after I realised that I was in a state of spiritual bondage. In the course of this process I came to awareness that I was in the grip of generational curses because family members on both the maternal and paternal sides of my family had dabbled in the occult. This was a shocking realisation in a number of ways. The first being that the choices that my grandparents made in their lives had such an impact on me during the course of my life. The second was that what they did, either knowingly or unknowingly, had such significant import on different levels. My eyes have been opened to see that involvement in secret societies such as Freemasonry and Rosicrucian Orders can affect people in a range of ways- spiritually, emotionally, mentally and physically. The third was that dabbling in the occult is very dangerous and that people should be made aware of this reality.

The cultural environment that I was formed in was very rationalistic and spiritual reality was either ignored or scoffed at. It was taken for granted that all reality could be accounted for and explained in rationalistic terms. It was understood that reason and science had taken over from the previous religious and superstitious notions of the distant past. Religious understanding was a crutch for those who were weak and insecure. I was taught to take control of my own life and destiny. My mentors told me that I had the freedom to choose; and needed to make my own choices in life in order to control whether or not I was successful and happy. What I chose was up to me and whatever my choices were did not really matter.

In this social climate what I chose to believe in philosophical or religious terms was a personal matter which affected no one else. Those who chose to believe in a greater divine reality advocated religious tolerance. They contended that there were many paths to God and whichever I chose did not matter; as long as I was sincere in what I believed and practised. It would do me good and make me a better person.

Despite the assertions to the contrary I found that I had a deep sense that there was another reality beyond the apparent everyday reality I was confronted by. There was a profound yearning to fill a deep void within me. I began to search for something to fill this void during my teen years.  I read many esoteric books and one in particular influenced me. This was a book called The Third Eye, which was purported to have been an autobiography of a Tibetan Lama (monk) called Lobsang Rampa. (I discovered later on that he was an Englishman called Cyril Hoskin, who claimed that he had been taken over by the spirit of a Lama.) After reading it I began practicing meditation exercises which were given in the book. Through this I began to have ’outer body’ experiences in which I could look down on myself from above. After a while I stopped practising this, but with hindsight I recognise that damage was already done. Scripture tells us that any occult practice is forbidden. It was one of the things that the Holy Spirit brought to mind when I confessed to my two friends. I had to renounce practicing occult activity through this meditation. The spiritual bondage that Satan had over me because of it had to be broken. He uses this to harm us and bring us under his control.

I later underwent confirmation in the Presbyterian Church my family had membership of. The preparation for confirmation involved learning doctrinal pronouncements; and being taught what the religious liturgy and rituals meant. Religious rituals were carried out which did not touch me or inspire me to continue with church attendance after I had been confirmed.

 Looking back on the time I spent in this church I now see that certainly the Minister and many of the Elders of the church were Free Masons. Once a year the Sunday morning service was run by Free Masons; with certain Elders playing prominent roles. This was accepted practice. It was no wonder that the church was ‘spiritually dead’; and I was not drawn to participate in it.

However, the Lords grace was at work and a young Presbyterian Assistant Minister called Gus Hunter visited me at home and invited me to a youth meeting. He was warm, accepting and had a good sense of humour; and because of this I was moved to continue attending the youth group. I recognised that there was something that he had which I wanted. I was prevented from following through with what I was drawn to because I was called up to undergo  military training and ended up going to Walvis Bay for six months in what was then South West Africa (now Namibia).

On my return I went with some friends to celebrate my homecoming. We got very high by smoking dagga (marijuana) and then went to a hotel where we continued to drink beer. It was night-time and we were sitting at a table outside under the stars. Suddenly I had an intense awareness of the presence of an evil force which was trying to take over my mind. This made me very afraid and I realised that I was dealing with something which was far bigger than myself and that I was not in control of the situation. I immediately did the only thing I could think of and cried out to the Lord in my mind, saying: “Jesus help me!” In an instant I was absolutely sober and clear headed and the evil presence had vanished. I was shocked beyond words to describe it. This was a massive wake up call for me. It confronted me with the fact that what I did mattered. Engaging in unhealthy activities such as taking drugs opened me up to evil influence. On the other hand I was shown that when I called out to the Lord he acted.This led me to choose to commit my life to the Lord.

 Reflecting on this experience it is possible to rationalise the fact that my experience of the evil presence was merely a drug induced hallucination. However, when I was confronted with the evil presence I ‘knew’ beyond a shadow of a doubt what it was. It is also impossible for me to understand or explain how I became instantly sober and clear headed other than that the Lord had saved me from a life threatening situation by his grace.

The upshot of all this is that I learnt through personal experience that what I believe and what I do both matter. I have also come to realize that we have an adversary who is waiting for opportunities to seduce and trick us into believing and acting inappropriately so that he can ensnare us and bring us into bondage of some sort. This awareness is strongly counter-cultural in this day and age; but it is very real, and we ignore it at our peril.

Questions for reflection:

·         Have you participated in any form of occult activity?

·         Do you suffer from some form of addictive behaviour?

·         Has an evil presence confronted you?

·         Do you want to be set free?