Following Our Process

In this post I want to look at the necessity of following our own process. As previously mentioned, the patterns of grace mirror the patterns of nature. The process of natural human development is mirrored by our spiritual development (to think otherwise is being trapped in dualistic thinking- that is the subject of another post).

The same phases that can be identified as applying to natural human development can be used to understand our spiritual development. In natural development we move through stages of infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood etc. In like manner our spiritual development follows a similar process. We cannot expect to suddenly jump from spiritual infancy to adulthood. It is not possible. Each stage of human development has certain challenges that a person needs to confront and deal with. They cannot move on to the next stage until the requirements of their present stage have been negotiated. The person will be stuck in that stage until this has been realized.

In infancy we are initially totally dependent on our parents for our survival. Our mother provides us with nurture, sustenance and comfort. The role of the father is to help provide for the child’s needs; and give security and protection.

During childhood we are taught basic things that are essential for our survival. We are given external discipline and taught basic impulse control. Along with this we are given instruction about what is right and wrong; as well as being given boundaries and structure. These are necessary for us to grow and mature. At this stage we look to our parents to fulfil all our needs. We are at first confined within a domestic environment. Later we venture out into a wider environment and begin to experience life on our own. The challenge is learning to interact with the world outside of the security of our home. Through this interaction we slowly become more confident and assured. 

We later move into adolescence, which is a time of questioning. This is a stage where we challenge the authority of our parents and begin to find our own identity. This is an awkward transition stage that needs to be negotiated in order to embrace adulthood. To become adults, the external instruction that we received, as well as the behaviour that was modelled for us in childhood needs to be evaluated. Conflict with the adults who have been responsible for forming us is inevitable and necessary.

An adult needs to freely decide what to embrace and what to discard. The attitudes, understanding, beliefs and values that have been internalized through growing up in the parents care need to be evaluated. To live as an adult means living out of those which have become our own. There is a necessary shift from external control to internal autonomy and control. Furthermore, the locus of authority needs to move from being external to internal. Only then are we living as true adults.

 Our spiritual journey is a parallel process to what we have seen in our natural human development. The domestic environment is reflected in institutional religion. Here we learn similar lessons which are essential for our spiritual development and growth. A natural new- born infant starts its life in the world lying on its back, totally dependent on its care givers. Similarly, a new-born spiritual infant is totally dependent on the spiritual community it finds itself in.  In natural development a child moves from lying on its back to moving through stages of first sitting, then standing and finally walking unaided by someone else. This process is reflected in spiritual development as well. The spiritual child is taught basic things which give him/her a spiritual foundation; and is encouraged to become increasingly active and involved in the life of the faith community.

The spiritual community / institutional church have the role of teaching the spiritual children to adopt ‘right belief’ and ‘right behaviour’. They are taught impulse control; and are given necessary boundaries and structure. They believe at that point that the institutional Church gives them access to God and provides for their spiritual needs. In a way they collaborate with the Church in trying to get God to give them what they want. They are dependent on the Church in the same way that a child is bound up with its mother.

 However, to move toward spiritual adulthood a similar process as has been described in natural development needs to be progressed through or else they will remain perpetual spiritual children. They need to move through a questioning spiritual adolescence where they evaluate what they have been taught and what has been modelled for them. At this point they also have to reconcile contradictions in terms of what has been taught to them and what they have seen as being the lived reality of their mentors.  This is an awkward phase where inevitable conflict with the Church authority structure will occur. 

Adulthood requires choosing to embrace and internalize that which a person can authentically identify with. The only way this can happen is if they enter into an authentic relationship with God themselves. A second- hand belief is not authentic. If they are merely living their lives according to the dictates of an external theology and moral code, they are spiritual children. Ultimately the locus of spiritual authority needs to move from being external to internal. It comes not from the Church but from within. That authority is based on their own relationship with God and recognizing at a heart level that they are a daughter / son of God; and that they enjoy the favour of God. In Scripture this was depicted in the baptism of Jesus. An authentic spiritual adult needs to find and embrace their own spiritual identity and inner authority.

Questions for reflection:

*Where are you in your process?