Trusting Our Experience

What I want to focus on in this post is the necessity of us trusting our own experience. Each of us is being called to move to towards deeper communion and union with both God and our True Self. This is a process and a journey; which takes our lifetime. Yet, it is never fully realized. It is the same type of mystery and paradox as the Kingdom of God: which is already here, but not yet. We are called to live with that tension of opposites. The longing and the hope is what draws us forever onward. Our ultimate call is to live by faith. Scripture tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God. We have to let go of our desire to be in control of our life and reality; and surrender to the control of the One who has loved us into being. We have to trust our loving Father when he says through his Word that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

How do we come to know God, and our True Self? This takes place deep within our own self. It happens through encountering God in and through our own consciousness. We do not experience God ‘out there’. We have to choose to open ourselves up to trust our own experience. We first and foremost encounter God within us. It is our own reality that matters. This is not about what the religious ‘experts’ have to say.

Church doctrine and theology can tell us something about God and what is required of us in terms of right belief and right behaviour. But this is not relationship with God. We can endlessly listen to sermons and talks; and read spiritual books. But this is always second- hand reporting of spiritual reality. A second- hand understanding is not authentic. Our call is not to know something ‘about’ God that we have heard about or read. We have been created for relationship with God. Our call is know God in the first person; to move into an intimate relationship with God. This can only happen if we choose to be open to this being realized. It takes adopting the right attitude. We choose to dispose our self for relationship with God. It has rightly been said that true prayer is our response to the presence of God. Our Father has loved us into being for the purpose of relationship; but we need to positively respond. If we do not respond to our Father’s invitation then relationship with him will not develop.

The Early Church had an understanding that the patterns of grace mirror the patterns of nature. The same process that we see taking place when a natural human relationship is formed is mirrored in the development of our relationship with God. For relationships to develop they need to be worked at. The right conditions need to be present for this to happen. The foundational reality is that both persons need to want the relationship; and be open to it developing. The next step is being open to risk reaching out to the other person. This entails the person expressing something of their own reality. This involves inevitable risk; because the person does not know how the other person will respond. Because of this the initial exchanges will usually be on a superficial level. The degree to which the first expressions of the person’s reality are positively received by the other person determines whether or not the relationship develops. The relationship develops through dialogue. It involves give- and- take from both people.

It takes time for the two people to move to a place where they can risk sharing their deeper reality with each other. They are only able to do so if what they share with the other person is received with acceptance; and treated with reverence and respect. They need to have assurance that what they share with the other person will be confidential; and will not be violated. To have a relationship with someone where one can share one’s deepest reality in absolute confidence is very precious. It is also rare. People often feel too vulnerable; and withhold sharing their deepest reality.

Our relationship with God follows this same pattern. It firstly necessitates having the desire for it to develop. It then requires us to both share who we are with God; and listen to hear God share who he is with us. Dialogue is the heart of the process. It necessitates reverential listening. God will not share with us what we will not treat with reverence and respect. What he shares with us is precious; and needs to be treated as such. He will not caste his pearls before swine. We have to prove ourselves to be trustworthy.

On the other hand we have to risk authentically sharing who we are with God. This is a process that takes time.  At first we are rather tentative. Our tendency is to share what we think God will find acceptable. There are many aspects of ourselves that we feel uncomfortable to share; and hold back. We are sometimes riddled with a deep sense of guilt and shame. Each of us has an inner ‘dark side’ that we keep hidden. This is so hidden that we even hide it from our conscious awareness. It is hidden inside our unconscious awareness; in our inner darkness. It takes the right conditions for this to be exposed to the light of day. Yet, for authentic relationship to take place, this is precisely what we need to share with the Lord.

The Lord’s invitation is for us to be absolutely real and authentic with him. As we do this we move to a place of being in communion with him. Through experiencing communion with the Lord we are in a mysterious way changed and transformed to be in union with him: we share his likeness. The likeness we share is the True Self that we are created to be: the image of God we are at the core of our being. This is our glory and our hope.

Questions for reflection:

*To what degree do you have an authentic relationship with God?

*Can you share your ‘dark side’ with the Lord?

*Is this something you desire?