Tree Life as Metaphor for Christian Spirituality

Sorry!! Last week, for the first time since beginning this blog, I did not post anything. The reason for that was for the last two years I have been working on a book about my spiritual journey, and I was tied up doing a final edit before sending it out to potential publishers. I was ‘in the zone’ and did not want to shift my focus. I hope and trust that in due course the manuscript will be published.

In the next few posts I will look at how tree life is a metaphor for Christian spirituality. It is said of metaphors that they both reveal but also conceal. If I conform to the metaphor too rigidly it can obscure certain important realities; so I will hold it lightly.

When Jesus began his public ministry he identified with the beginning part of Isaiah 61 as being an expression of his earthly ministry (Luke 4:14-21). It begins with, “The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is upon me, because the Lord has appointed me to bring good news to the poor.” It carries on describing what this ministry to the people he came to would look like, and in v 3 it articulates the result of his ministry: “For the Lord has planted them like strong and graceful oaks for his own glory.” This is a profound image of what Christian spirituality is about- displaying the Image of God we are created to be, to the glory of God.

With regard to this image we can look at the difference between on the one hand theology, doctrine and what generally happens in church; and on the other the pursuit of spirituality. The first has to do with formulating right belief and right behaviour and how that is lived out. There is a focus on evangelism; practising religious rituals; living according to a moral code; worshiping and serving God; and developing faith in God. It can be likened to forestry- the planting of new trees; encouraging their development and growth; facilitating them bearing fruit; and orderly forest management.  It has to do with what is outwardly manifested and therefore manageable. It is visible and tangible. In contrast spirituality focusses on what is invisible- the inner reality that each of us has to deal with. It works with that which is hidden deep within us, at the core of our being.

Looking at a single tree from the first perspective given above it has to do with the outward appearance of the tree and what is clearly visible- its form, size, health and fruitfulness. One sees the trunk, branches, leaves and fruit. The life of the tree is assessed and judged on these attributes. On the other hand spirituality focusses on the hidden, invisible aspects of the tree. It strips away the bark to reveal the timber which gives the tree its unique character. Every type of timber has its own characteristics; and each tree has a unique manifestation of these characteristics.

Christian spirituality addresses how each tree has been formed. Its formation has been influenced by many different factors such as the type of soil it has grown in; the amount of water it has received; the prevailing climate the tree is in etc. The health and wellbeing of the tree is impacted upon by these factors. Spirituality works towards rectifying unhealthy influences that have negatively impacted upon the ability of the tree to display the true character it was meant to, to the glory of its creator.

Questions for reflection:

*What type of tree are you?

*How are you manifesting the image of God within you?

Cycles and Seasons

This post looks at the reality of there being cycles and seasons in our spiritual growth and development. This flows from the reality that the patterns of grace mirror the patterns of nature. There is a tendency to view our spiritual growth in a linear manner. However, on a micro level that is not how nature operates. Things grow through time and get bigger and more mature; but if one looks closer, the process is cyclical.

For the last thirty odd years I have been involved in wood work. I have been working with timber which comes from trees. Through this I have come to realize that tree life gives us a useful image of spiritual growth and development. If you cut a tree down and look at a cross- section of trunk of the tree you will notice that there are a number of growth rings. Each ring represents one year of the life of that tree.

 If one looks even closer each annual growth ring is made up of two parts- a darker and a lighter one. The darker section is harder and more compact than the lighter one. These two sections of the growth ring represent summer and winter growth. The winter growth is the denser and harder band. It tends to be narrower than the summer band, where the growth is accelerated. The summer band is softer and spongier. It is the winter band that gives the tree its strength and rigidity.

In similar fashion we go through cycles and seasons in our spiritual growth and development. We experience both good times and difficult times. They feel to us like winter and summer, and seasons in between. We tend to want the summer to be endless, but that is not the reality of the life which we live. We are bound to the cycles and seasons of life, just as surely as nature is.

 We can fight this and live in denial. The problem is that if we try and live as though an endless summer is possible we are bound to end up being frustrated and bitter. The healthier option is to go with the flow of that which is inevitable; recognizing that as surely as the winter we are in is cold and unpleasant, spring is soon to follow.

 It is also in the spiritual winter that we get stronger and tougher; and develop resilience. It is where we are forced to trust in the strength and provision of our loving Father. This is where our relationship with God is deepened. Without these challenges we will inevitably take that love and provision for granted; as spoilt children do. In the process everything becomes devalued, and unappreciated. There is nothing sadder to see than that.

Questions for reflection:

·         How do you deal with the cycles and seasons in your life?

·         Do you resist and try to live in denial?

·         Do you have an attitude of gratitude when you receive life’s blessings?

 

   

Following Our Process

In this post I want to look at the necessity of following our own process. As previously mentioned, the patterns of grace mirror the patterns of nature. The process of natural human development is mirrored by our spiritual development (to think otherwise is being trapped in dualistic thinking- that is the subject of another post).

The same phases that can be identified as applying to natural human development can be used to understand our spiritual development. In natural development we move through stages of infancy, childhood, adolescence, adulthood etc. In like manner our spiritual development follows a similar process. We cannot expect to suddenly jump from spiritual infancy to adulthood. It is not possible. Each stage of human development has certain challenges that a person needs to confront and deal with. They cannot move on to the next stage until the requirements of their present stage have been negotiated. The person will be stuck in that stage until this has been realized.

In infancy we are initially totally dependent on our parents for our survival. Our mother provides us with nurture, sustenance and comfort. The role of the father is to help provide for the child’s needs; and give security and protection.

During childhood we are taught basic things that are essential for our survival. We are given external discipline and taught basic impulse control. Along with this we are given instruction about what is right and wrong; as well as being given boundaries and structure. These are necessary for us to grow and mature. At this stage we look to our parents to fulfil all our needs. We are at first confined within a domestic environment. Later we venture out into a wider environment and begin to experience life on our own. The challenge is learning to interact with the world outside of the security of our home. Through this interaction we slowly become more confident and assured. 

We later move into adolescence, which is a time of questioning. This is a stage where we challenge the authority of our parents and begin to find our own identity. This is an awkward transition stage that needs to be negotiated in order to embrace adulthood. To become adults, the external instruction that we received, as well as the behaviour that was modelled for us in childhood needs to be evaluated. Conflict with the adults who have been responsible for forming us is inevitable and necessary.

An adult needs to freely decide what to embrace and what to discard. The attitudes, understanding, beliefs and values that have been internalized through growing up in the parents care need to be evaluated. To live as an adult means living out of those which have become our own. There is a necessary shift from external control to internal autonomy and control. Furthermore, the locus of authority needs to move from being external to internal. Only then are we living as true adults.

 Our spiritual journey is a parallel process to what we have seen in our natural human development. The domestic environment is reflected in institutional religion. Here we learn similar lessons which are essential for our spiritual development and growth. A natural new- born infant starts its life in the world lying on its back, totally dependent on its care givers. Similarly, a new-born spiritual infant is totally dependent on the spiritual community it finds itself in.  In natural development a child moves from lying on its back to moving through stages of first sitting, then standing and finally walking unaided by someone else. This process is reflected in spiritual development as well. The spiritual child is taught basic things which give him/her a spiritual foundation; and is encouraged to become increasingly active and involved in the life of the faith community.

The spiritual community / institutional church have the role of teaching the spiritual children to adopt ‘right belief’ and ‘right behaviour’. They are taught impulse control; and are given necessary boundaries and structure. They believe at that point that the institutional Church gives them access to God and provides for their spiritual needs. In a way they collaborate with the Church in trying to get God to give them what they want. They are dependent on the Church in the same way that a child is bound up with its mother.

 However, to move toward spiritual adulthood a similar process as has been described in natural development needs to be progressed through or else they will remain perpetual spiritual children. They need to move through a questioning spiritual adolescence where they evaluate what they have been taught and what has been modelled for them. At this point they also have to reconcile contradictions in terms of what has been taught to them and what they have seen as being the lived reality of their mentors.  This is an awkward phase where inevitable conflict with the Church authority structure will occur. 

Adulthood requires choosing to embrace and internalize that which a person can authentically identify with. The only way this can happen is if they enter into an authentic relationship with God themselves. A second- hand belief is not authentic. If they are merely living their lives according to the dictates of an external theology and moral code, they are spiritual children. Ultimately the locus of spiritual authority needs to move from being external to internal. It comes not from the Church but from within. That authority is based on their own relationship with God and recognizing at a heart level that they are a daughter / son of God; and that they enjoy the favour of God. In Scripture this was depicted in the baptism of Jesus. An authentic spiritual adult needs to find and embrace their own spiritual identity and inner authority.

Questions for reflection:

*Where are you in your process?                                                                       

Trusting Our Experience

What I want to focus on in this post is the necessity of us trusting our own experience. Each of us is being called to move to towards deeper communion and union with both God and our True Self. This is a process and a journey; which takes our lifetime. Yet, it is never fully realized. It is the same type of mystery and paradox as the Kingdom of God: which is already here, but not yet. We are called to live with that tension of opposites. The longing and the hope is what draws us forever onward. Our ultimate call is to live by faith. Scripture tells us that without faith it is impossible to please God. We have to let go of our desire to be in control of our life and reality; and surrender to the control of the One who has loved us into being. We have to trust our loving Father when he says through his Word that all things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

How do we come to know God, and our True Self? This takes place deep within our own self. It happens through encountering God in and through our own consciousness. We do not experience God ‘out there’. We have to choose to open ourselves up to trust our own experience. We first and foremost encounter God within us. It is our own reality that matters. This is not about what the religious ‘experts’ have to say.

Church doctrine and theology can tell us something about God and what is required of us in terms of right belief and right behaviour. But this is not relationship with God. We can endlessly listen to sermons and talks; and read spiritual books. But this is always second- hand reporting of spiritual reality. A second- hand understanding is not authentic. Our call is not to know something ‘about’ God that we have heard about or read. We have been created for relationship with God. Our call is know God in the first person; to move into an intimate relationship with God. This can only happen if we choose to be open to this being realized. It takes adopting the right attitude. We choose to dispose our self for relationship with God. It has rightly been said that true prayer is our response to the presence of God. Our Father has loved us into being for the purpose of relationship; but we need to positively respond. If we do not respond to our Father’s invitation then relationship with him will not develop.

The Early Church had an understanding that the patterns of grace mirror the patterns of nature. The same process that we see taking place when a natural human relationship is formed is mirrored in the development of our relationship with God. For relationships to develop they need to be worked at. The right conditions need to be present for this to happen. The foundational reality is that both persons need to want the relationship; and be open to it developing. The next step is being open to risk reaching out to the other person. This entails the person expressing something of their own reality. This involves inevitable risk; because the person does not know how the other person will respond. Because of this the initial exchanges will usually be on a superficial level. The degree to which the first expressions of the person’s reality are positively received by the other person determines whether or not the relationship develops. The relationship develops through dialogue. It involves give- and- take from both people.

It takes time for the two people to move to a place where they can risk sharing their deeper reality with each other. They are only able to do so if what they share with the other person is received with acceptance; and treated with reverence and respect. They need to have assurance that what they share with the other person will be confidential; and will not be violated. To have a relationship with someone where one can share one’s deepest reality in absolute confidence is very precious. It is also rare. People often feel too vulnerable; and withhold sharing their deepest reality.

Our relationship with God follows this same pattern. It firstly necessitates having the desire for it to develop. It then requires us to both share who we are with God; and listen to hear God share who he is with us. Dialogue is the heart of the process. It necessitates reverential listening. God will not share with us what we will not treat with reverence and respect. What he shares with us is precious; and needs to be treated as such. He will not caste his pearls before swine. We have to prove ourselves to be trustworthy.

On the other hand we have to risk authentically sharing who we are with God. This is a process that takes time.  At first we are rather tentative. Our tendency is to share what we think God will find acceptable. There are many aspects of ourselves that we feel uncomfortable to share; and hold back. We are sometimes riddled with a deep sense of guilt and shame. Each of us has an inner ‘dark side’ that we keep hidden. This is so hidden that we even hide it from our conscious awareness. It is hidden inside our unconscious awareness; in our inner darkness. It takes the right conditions for this to be exposed to the light of day. Yet, for authentic relationship to take place, this is precisely what we need to share with the Lord.

The Lord’s invitation is for us to be absolutely real and authentic with him. As we do this we move to a place of being in communion with him. Through experiencing communion with the Lord we are in a mysterious way changed and transformed to be in union with him: we share his likeness. The likeness we share is the True Self that we are created to be: the image of God we are at the core of our being. This is our glory and our hope.

Questions for reflection:

*To what degree do you have an authentic relationship with God?

*Can you share your ‘dark side’ with the Lord?

*Is this something you desire?

Reclaiming Eden

In my previous post I wrote that the means for our coming to healing and wholeness is to confront the reservoir of our past pain, and especially our Father Wound; and then choose to forgive those who have wounded us. This releases us to embrace the reality of our True Self. We are enabled to do this only to the extent that we have experienced the unconditional love of our Father for us. We can only love to the degree that we have received the love of our True Father. We freely pass on what we have freely received. In effect the love of God is being recycled- nothing of it should be lost.

 In a previous post it was mentioned that we have naïve access to our True Self in early childhood before we develop consciousness. In a sense it is like being in the garden in a similar way in which Adam and Eve were. However, at this time we find ourselves in a social situation that we did not choose to be born into. We are forced to deal with the reality we find ourselves in. That experience can vary from being good or bad; or a combination of both. Through the course of our life we have to confront the wounds that we experience during this time and those that follow on afterwards. The key point is that at this time we had no real choice, other than our response to the situation we found ourselves in. As has been shown, when we develop consciousness we leave that garden experience and become gradually alienated from our True Self.

Our True Father loves us into being when we are born and wants us to return the love he has for us. We have been created for relationship with God and our Father wants us to freely choose to love him back. Because at that stage in early childhood we do not as yet have consciousness our True Self lacks the ability to consciously choose to return our Father’s love for us. Our ultimate end when we access our True Self in the second half of life is to consciously choose to return our Father’s love in an unconditional way; in the same way that his love for us is unconditional. As we move into this space in a sense we return to the garden reality that we have been created to experience. In this process we reclaim the reality of Eden. We come full circle; and the effects of the fall from grace are reversed. It is a movement into consciously choosing to live in union with both God and our True Self. As we do this we reclaim our mandate and God-given purpose of manifesting the image of God that we are in a tangible way. This is a graced state of being in the world.

As has been mentioned this state of being is characterized by ‘descent’. It necessitates letting go of our previous autonomy, self-determination, power and control. It requires surrendering to the power and control of the indwelling Holy Spirit. There is a movement towards embracing and being comfortable with powerlessness. At the same time there is identification with the Apostle Paul when he said: “When I am weak, then I am strong!” Spiritual reality is always about mystery and paradox. To the degree we surrender our power and control to the Lord, it enables the Holy Spirit to empower and direct us. The same power that raised Jesus from the dead is then able to work in and through us in ways that we can never even conceive of.

Our call is to live as a co-worker with Jesus. He told his disciples before he ascended to his Father that they must continue the work that he began; and that he modelled for them. He said that after he left them he would send the Holy Spirit to enable them to do this. He said that they would do the same works that he did and even greater works. I believe that in his incarnated body he was bound by time and space. His many followers would have a multiplying effect of exponentially increasing his ministry. They were to be co-workers with him- and be his hands, feet and heart in the world. We too are called to carry on his ministry today as co-workers with him. This becomes more likely and possible as we let go of our False self and embrace our True Self. As we do this we let go of our own agendas; and stop trying to make ourselves look good. It is ultimately not about us. We need to surrender our small agenda to the ‘Big Agenda’. A significant part of embracing our True Self is moving towards discovering our unique individual purpose, and how it fits in with the ‘Big Purpose’.

I believe that our True Self is the place from where our true giftedness flows. Our enemy knows this and that is why he uses our earthly father to wound us here. He wants to prevent us from exercising our true giftedness. We can never express the fullness of our giftedness as long as we are trapped in the reality of our False Self. The gifts that we hold onto in the first half of life; and believe express who we are; are not our true gifts. They are a pale shadow of that which is hidden deep within us. The death of our False Self is excruciating; but it leads to the resurrection reality of revealing the wonder of our hidden giftedness. This is our true glory. This is an experience of what Jesus came to reveal to us- fullness of life. As we reveal our true glory we reveal the glory of God. One of my all-time favourite quotes came from Irenaeus, writing at the end of the 2^nd C:

“The glory of God is people fully alive!”

Questions for reflection:

*Have you experienced the reality of reclaiming Eden?

* Have you discovered and embraced your true giftedness?

Letting go of our False Self

In my previous post I said that because we are so attached to our False Self and perceive it to be who we are, letting go of it is extremely difficult. Moreover, if we decide to allow our False Self to die we cannot choose to manufacture our own demise; or it will merely be an ‘ego-project’. Something external has to impact upon us and bring this about. If we are in control of what happens then it is not an authentic process. It will still enable us to hold on to our False Self that we are deluded into thinking is our True Self. The question of who is in control is always the crucial one.

This normally happens when we reach mid-life. Richard Rohr conceives of the first half of life being characterized by a process of ‘ascent.’ In this time we find a sense of our identity and become established.  It involves a movement towards greater and greater power and control. There is also accumulation of wealth and possessions. From what I have been writing in these posts, it also entails the development of our False Self. He says that in mid-life we experience a ‘crisis of limitation’ which halts this upward trajectory. Something significant will impact on us externally over which we will not have control. This experience ranges from individual to individual and is unique to their life and reality. How they respond to it is crucial. They can fight against it and try and maintain their upward trajectory; or they can allow this external experience to be transformative. It provides the means for them to let go of their False Self and embrace their True Self. Who they think they are in the first half of their life is not who they actually are.

If an individual allows the crisis of limitation to change them, it moves them into the journey of the second half of life; which is a movement into ‘decent’. This is characterized by letting go of the power and control the individual gained in the journey of the first half of his/her life. At the same time it entails embracing their True Self.

We only really access and live out of the reality of our True Self to the degree that we surrender to the movement and direction of the indwelling Holy Spirit. Ultimately it requires surrendering to mystery, because the False Self is no longer in control. It is something that comes about as we move towards living in union with our Father. Whilst we may have certain ‘peak experiences’, this is not a once- off reality that happens in an instant; but a process. It involves a process of dying to our False Self and being reborn as our True Self.

 There are layers of meaning and spiritual reality. On one level Jesus died for us; and in our place. Through this he provided the means for our salvation. On another level we also need to move beyond that reality. The fact is that he gave us a model that we have to follow in. When he called his disciples he told them to ‘follow’ him. That meant to follow in the pattern of his life, death and resurrection. In order for the resurrection of the True Self to take place the False Self has to die. There is no experience of resurrection without the pain of suffering.

 In my previous posts I have outlined the fact that our True Self is hidden beneath our wounds. The suffering involves facing and dealing with the pain of our accumulated past pain. Once we have faced our pain the key to healing the pain is the choice to forgive those who have hurt us. Jesus said on the cross: “Father forgive them because they do not know what they are doing.” Healing comes through the act of forgiveness. Only then are we released from our bondage to our pain and wounds. Jesus clearly enunciated this in the “Lord’s Prayer”, in the verse we find in Matthew 6:12: “….and forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.” There is a condition attached to our healing and release. When we release those who have wounded us, we are released from the power and effect that our wounds have over us. By setting those who have hurt us free, we set ourselves free.

Furthermore, it is through forgiveness that we are set free from the hold that our adversary has over us as well. On a mysterious level, having unforgiveness; and harbouring ill-feeling and grudges against others; gives Satan a hold and power over us. Through this he keeps us in bondage to him. This happens even if we are not consciously aware that we have these poisonous attitudes. These impact on us in ways that we do not realize. There are mental, emotional, physical and spiritual consequences.    

All this is only possible to the degree that we have a personal experience of the deep love of our Father for us. I believe that is why the practice of silence and solitude is vital. Only as we experience the presence of our loving Father are we enabled to know that we are loved. The experience of the love and forgiveness of our Father enables us to forgive others. We can only do it to the degree we have freely received this gift. In turn we give the gift of forgiveness to those who have wounded us. This is the means for our movement into healing and wholeness. This also allows us to access and live out of the reality of our True Self.

Questions for reflection:

*Have you experienced a ‘crisis of limitation’?

*How did you respond?

*If you haven’t experienced it yet, how will you respond when it happens?

Our False Self

In my previous post I wrote about the necessity of fighting for freedom in order to find and live out of the reality of our ‘True Self’. In this post I will consider how our ‘False Self’ emerges. This comes about at the time when we start developing consciousness (around the age of seven).My previous post painted a picture of how when a child is wounded those painful experiences are split off from their conscious awareness and become buried in their unconscious. When as children we develop consciousness a different strategy is used to protect our self from the emotional pain experienced when we are wounded. In order to protect ourselves from our multiple wounds we develop ‘defense mechanisms’ to protect ourselves from further pain. These are meant to protect our True Self. We build a defensive wall of these defense mechanisms. Over time these become thicker and stronger; until they are virtually an impregnable wall. The problem is that instead of protecting us these walls become an effective prison.

In time this defensive wall becomes the only reality we know; because our attention is focused on building it. The problem is that because building the protective wall is our primary focus we come to think that is who we are. It becomes what is known as our ‘False Self’. There is a misperception that our False Self is synonymous with our ego. It is related to our ego, but is not exactly the same thing. Our ego is a functional system that we cannot function without. Our False Self tries to protect our ego by using ‘ego defense mechanisms’. Our False Self is more closely associated with these ‘ego defense mechanisms’: it is probably the sum total of them. It is apparent that our False Self is a distorted perception of who we are.  The thicker and stronger the wall that our False Self becomes; the more removed and alienated we are from our True Self. The reality is that as we get older we forget who we are. 

A useful understanding for me is the conception of contemplative prayer that they had in the Medieval Church. It was understood to be prayer of ‘recollection’. Now recollection has two aspects to it. The first is to:   ‘remember’. We have to remember who we are. It entails getting in touch with our True Self that we have become alienated from and forgotten. The wall that our False Self has built prevents us from accessing the reality of our True Self. The wall has to be dismantled for this to happen. This is achieved in and through contemplative prayer.

The second is to:  ‘re-collect’. Due to the splitting process that has been spoken about there are many ‘splits’ that have taken place within us over time. This has led to inner fragmentation taking place. The movement is towards reconciling these inner splits and bringing the pieces together. It is a process of inner integration. Through this we come to wholeness.

It has taken me a long time to recognize that in order to find and embrace our True Self we have to deal with the pain of our wounds. This is because our True Self is hidden beneath our wounds. I have come to believe that our True Self is in effect the flip side of our primary Father Wound. As we saw in a previous post our Adversary uses our father to wound us at the exact place where our True Self is to be found. Our True Self is the other side of the coin that is our Father Wound. Our wounds are therefore the doorway to our True Self. There is no other way in which we can access it. To use the words of Al Gore, this is an ‘inconvenient truth’.

Richard Rohr says that our wounds are our teachers; and that we must not get rid of our wounds until we have learnt what it is that they are teaching us. Another significant mentor, Sr Deirdre, told me that our wounds are important because it is our wounds that lead us to God (they lead us to our True Self at the same time). It necessarily means dealing with the pain of our buried hurts. This is especially true of our primary Father Wound. I believe that this wound is the key to our healing and deliverance. Yet facing this wound is very difficult and painfull. We have to literally fight for our freedom. There is no other way; or short cut.

[This understanding is at odds with the normal perception of the ‘Good News’ of salvation that the Church puts forward. In this understanding if we come to Jesus there is a perception that you will no longer experience pain or struggle. Jesus has died for us and taken it all away. We are not supposed to struggle.]  

In order to take hold of our True Self we have to let go of our False Self. After living out of the reality that our False Self is who we are for so long, this is very difficult and painfull. In fact when we let go of our False Self it feels as though we are dying. We are in fact dying, but only the False Self dies. And it is not who we actually are.

 Jesus said that in order to find yourself you have to lose yourself. He also said that unless a grain of wheat falls into the ground and dies, it cannot come to newness of life and bring forth a bountiful crop. I believe he was speaking about letting go of our False Self and taking hold of our True Self.

The reality is that because we are so attached to our False Self and perceive it to be who we are, letting go of it is extremely difficult. Another factor is that if we decide to allow our False Self to die we cannot choose to manufacture our own demise; or it will merely be an ‘ego-project’. Something external has to impact upon us and bring this about. If we are in control of what happens then it is not an authentic process. It will still enable us to hold on to our False Self that we are deluded into thinking is our True Self. I will discuss this in my next post.

Questions for reflection;

·         Are you in touch with the reality of your False Self?

·         Have you confronted your primary wounds?

·         How have you dealt with the pain?